“What did you gain from counselling?” We asked a simple question, yet the answers of these 19 women who had experienced domestic violence revealed a shift in how they understood themselves and the options they had.

“I have never been treated with so much respect.”
“I am bolder now. No one can snatch my rights.”
“I have become smarter, and my thinking has changed since coming to the centre.”

These responses were part of semi-structured interviews we conducted at women’s counselling centres in Mumbai, India, with women who had engaged in counselling for a year or longer. The women were primarily from resource-poor communities, whose lives reflect a wide range of social locations shaped by caste, religion, disability, and work status.

By listening across their diversity, scholars Sangeeta Rege and M. Sivakami at the Tata Institute of Social Science were able to explore the tangible ways counselling can support women facing domestic violence, beyond narrow measures of success. In this blog, they reflect on the women’s journeys to understand how psychosocial counselling can help women navigate and resist their experience of domestic violence.

Evidence on domestic violence and the need for psychosocial counselling in India

Domestic violence (DV) is one of the most common forms of gender-based violence (GBV) against women and girls in India. While much of the literature focuses on prevalence and consequences, far less is known about what helps women recover and move forward. Evidence on the outcomes of psychosocial counselling, in particular, remains limited in the Indian context. (Gupte, 2013)

The Indian women’s movement played a crucial role in bringing domestic violence into the public domain, with a strong focus on legal redress, state accountability, and collective support for women. This support often included offering shelter, speaking out against abuse, and encouraging women to support one another. However, they did not term their support work as “counselling”.

Over time, women’s groups and non-governmental organisations began integrating feminist perspectives into counselling practice. (Rege & Chandrashekar, 2013) Feminist counselling understands domestic violence as rooted in gender inequality and patriarchal social structures, and actively challenges victim-blaming narratives that many women encounter when they disclose abuse. Yet questions persist about what women actually gain from counselling and whether it helps them navigate or reduce further violence. (Hackett et al., 2016) Women’s own experiences are often missing from the evidence base. (Vranda et al., 2018)

Narratives of change through counselling

Most of the women’s reflections show a narrative of change that happened from the time they first approached the counselling centre to the point of interview. Most had engaged in counselling for a year or longer, allowing space for these changes to take shape.

Women described counselling as a space where they were believed and taken seriously, often for the first time. Many arrived with a deeply negative sense of self, shaped by years of psychological abuse.

One woman, married for over twenty-five years, described how repeated affairs, threats of divorce, and financial control left her feeling inadequate as a wife, even though she knew she was not responsible for her husband’s behaviour. Counselling helped her understand how gender roles and power operated within marriage, and how social norms often excuse men’s behaviour while disciplining women. While she chose to remain in the marriage, learning new skills, travelling with other women, and being treated with respect helped her see herself as more than a wife. Being believed by the counsellor was central to this shift. “I have never been treated with so much respect,” she said.

Rebuilding confidence and self-worth

Across interviews, women spoke of renewed confidence and clarity. One woman reflected on how fear once shaped her everyday life and affected her health. “I was a scaredy cat,” she explained. “I would get loose motions just thinking of what my husband and mother-in-law were going to demand from me. Today, I am different, and I feel confident.”

Another woman described how counselling helped her question the belief that silence was the price of dignity. “I used to keep quiet to keep my honour,” she said. “Then I realised that if my husband is not giving me any respect, what’s the point of staying with him? This realisation I got here.”

Letting go of rigid gender roles

Several women described how counselling helped them question deeply held ideas about what it means to be a good wife or mother. One participant, who fled severe violence and was separated from her children, spoke of overwhelming guilt for leaving them behind. Counselling focused not only on safety and legal options, but also on questioning why caregiving responsibility is placed almost entirely on women.

Over time, she began to see parenting as a shared responsibility and made strategic decisions about financial independence before pursuing custody. This shift helped her move away from self-blame and towards long-term planning.

Making sense of mental health and distress

Living with domestic violence had significant mental health impacts for many women, including fear, sleeplessness, anger, and difficulty concentrating. These experiences were often dismissed or labelled as personal weakness within families.

One woman described how her anger was used against her, and she was repeatedly called “mad” or a “psycho”. Counselling reframed her anger as a response to prolonged abuse rather than a personal failing. “The counsellor was the first person who listened to me without judging,” she said. Being supported to seek care and accompanied to appointments helped her begin to shed shame and self-blame.

Holding perpetrators to account

Some women described joint meetings with perpetrators as an important, though limited, part of counselling. These meetings introduced a sense of accountability, particularly when perpetrators were required to engage respectfully in a formal setting.

One woman explained how her husband’s tone shifted during a joint session. “As soon as he entered, he said he didn’t want to live with me,” she recalled. “But when Didi [a respectful term used to address any familiar older female in India, in this case, the counsellor] spoke calmly, he changed his tone.” While violence did not always stop completely, women valued that responsibility was placed clearly on perpetrators.

Navigating police and formal systems

Many women described being dismissed or ridiculed when they approached the police. Through counselling, they learnt practical strategies for engaging law enforcement and understanding their rights.

One participant expressed surprise when police responded to her call for help. “They came to my house within thirty minutes,” she said. “They entered the house and took cognisance of the situation.” While access to justice remained uneven, counselling increased women’s confidence in navigating these systems.

From survival to collective action

Women’s paths diverged over time. Some remained in their relationships, others left, and some were still deciding. Across these paths, women consistently described feeling more in control of their lives than before counselling.

Several went on to support other women, volunteer with counselling centres, or engage in community efforts to prevent domestic violence. “This time I got the courage to stop it,” one woman reflected. “I feel more women should also act on it.”

What these narratives of change tell us about domestic violence prevention

Taken together, these accounts highlight tangible gains from psychosocial counselling that extend beyond symptom reduction. Women described shifts in self-perception, understanding of power and gender, ability to navigate institutions, and willingness to act for themselves and others.

While counselling alone cannot prevent domestic violence, these narratives suggest that when grounded in feminist principles and sustained over time, counselling can play an important role in helping women resist violence and reclaim agency.

References

Gupte, M. (2013). Why feminism should inform our routine interventions in domestic violence. In P. Bhate-Deosthali, S. Rege, & P. Prakash (Eds.), Feminist counselling and domestic violence in India (pp. 48-89). Routledge – Taylor & Francis Group

Hackett, S., McWhirter, P. T., & Lesher, S. (2016). The therapeutic efficacy of domestic violence victim interventions. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 17(2), 123-132. https://doi.org/10.1177/1524838014566720

Rege, S., & Chandrasekhar, A. (2013). Feminist domestic violence interventions in India. In P. Bhate-Deosthali, S. Rege, & P. Prakash (Eds.), Feminist counselling and domestic violence in India (pp. 126-175). Routledge – Taylor & Francis Group.

Vranda, M. N., Kumar, C. N., Muralidhar, D., Janardhana, N., & Sivakumar, P. T. (2018). Barriers to disclosure of intimate partner violence among female patients availing services at tertiary care psychiatric hospitals: A qualitative study. Journal of Neurosciences in Rural Practice 9(3), 326-330. https://doi.org/10.4103/jnrp.jnrp_14_18

 

About the authors

 

Sangeeta Rege is a PhD scholar at the Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Mumbai, India, and formerly the Director of CEHAT (Centre for Enquiry into Health and Allied Themes)

 

 

 

M. Sivakami is a professor at the School of Health Systems Studies, Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Mumbai, India.